I SLEEP IN THE RED MUD

 

Noko’s white goodwill sneakers get stained with red dirt after two days of wearing them

she takes me to the pond on her sister’s little patch of land and i am introduced to the frogs and water bugs and older cousin’s rescued greyhounds

by the time i am sixteen the pond has dried up and gone

but i am five years old and

i fantasize about a life as a frog person who lives out here

in the dry wood forest that surrounds this pool of dark water

i swim to the bottom and i sleep in the red mud

 

Noko tells me no swimming in this pond

she teaches me to never drink from standing water, always look for the moving clear springs with the bubbles and the splashing sounds

if it is silent water without motion: you must leave it be

and if you still aren’t sure, she says, you ask the water if you can drink it

and it will tell you honestly.

i practice, 

i stand on the sidewalks after the storms pass and ask the puddles, are you good to drink?

i ask the worms baking in the sun, do you want me to save you?

 

when i am sixteen and the pond has dried up

i go back and look down over the edge

what is left is caked red dust in a ditch of layered rot

Noko and her sisters quit cutting away the brush on the overgrown paths

they start watching the windows longer

heading to bed earlier

start breaking bones faster and healing them slower

less greyhounds to race, less uncles to climb on

less riding the four wheeler since little cousin got caught underneath

since little cousin died underneath

 

a stillness slowly lays its shoulders up over the land

i imagine i am a frog person and

i swim to the bottom of the pond and i sleep in the red mud

 

 __________________________________________________

 

OKLAHOMA WORDS:

Sheetrock

Arrowhead

Drought

Church

Meth

Ranch

Mousetrap

Sweat

Redbud

Squaw

Palomino

Abandoned

Dust

Territory